Leaving
by kyag16
Summary: What if Lorelai took the job? How she tell's Luke and his reaction. Luke's POV


**Disclaimer: **I do not own Gilmore Girls, only the thoughts I put into it

This is my first fanfic so, here goes nothing!

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I read the letter over and over again. I couldn't believe it. Was she really going to go through with it? Was she actually going to leave me, leave the relationship that was just starting to bloom? As I read her words for the fifteenth time, tears flowed freely from my eyes. She was really leaving. I started reading the note one more time, thinking that maybe there was something I had missed.

Dear Luke,

I wish I didn't have to write this and I should probably be telling it to your face, but I can't bear to see the pain I'm putting you though. I've decided to take the job. I know it means leaving you and that's tearing me apart, but I don't think I can pass up this opportunity. I hope you understand that the last thing I want to do is to leave you. I never wanted to hurt you, and I still wish I wasn't. I just can't let this pass me by. You know I've always wanted to travel and taking this job will give me a chance to make dreams come true. You must be reading this doubting I'm sane and wondering if this is just a joke. Unfortunately, it's not. I'm leaving tomorrow and I wanted you to know before I go; I love you. I always have and always will, but I don't want you to sit around and wait for me to come back. Go and find someone who will make you happier than I have or ever could. I'll miss you forever.

Love you to the moon and back,

Lorelai

She wants me to go find someone new? I love her more than I have ever loved anyone. How could I ever find someone who makes me happier then she ever has or could? These past six months have been the happiest times of my life because of her. How could I possibly move on? I'll always think aboutholding herand kissingher soft lips. I will never forget her scent; it's a mix of her perfume, fresly bloomed orchids, andcoffee. I love that scent. With every memory came a fresh wave of tears.

With a drenched face, I made my way to the telephone. I needed to talk to her, to get things straight. I needed to make sure that she had really left me this letter this morning. My fingers flew over the buttons, dialing her number perfectly. Still thinking about what I was going to say to her, I heard a familiar voice on the other line.

"Hi. You've reached Lorelai. I'm not here and soon you won't be able to reach me here at all. But for right now, leave one and I'll call you back."

"Hey, Lorelai… it's me. I, uh, I lo…uh I mean, um, we need to talk. Call me, alright?" I managed to choke the words out to her answering machine. So it was true. She was leaving. I finally found my one true love and now she's leaving me. I felt like someone had just punched a hole in my stomach, pulled out my heart, and left me there to bleed. It was the worst feeling in the world. All I could do was collapse on the couch and cry until I had no more tears and then I sat and sobbed for several more hours. Then the phone rang.

"Hello," I said shakily.

"Hey, Luke. It's me. Are you okay?"

"_Of course I'm not! You are leaving me. How could I be okay when I'm losing you?" _I thought.

"Uh, yeah, I'm fine. But Lorelai, we need to talk about you leaving," I said.

"Yeah, about that, I know that it's going to be hard, on both of us, but this is something I really need to do Lukw. I need to go and take an adventure, I need to go and see if I'm any good at this thing. You know that I've always dreamed about traveling . I'm going to miss you Luke. I really will."

"How can you leave me now Lorelai? I love you. I want to be with you. I've dreamed of marrying you and having children with you. How can you just up and leave our past, our future. I know this is what you really want to do, and I'm trying to be happy for you, but I just can't. I feel like I'm not good enough. Like I'm not giving you enough to make you stay here. You wrote in your letter this would let you accomplish all your dreams. Don't you have any dreams with me in them, with us in them? Am I just thinking wrong? Please, tell me if I'm completely off base here Hun, I need to know."

"You're not off base at all. I've dreamt of us being together, getting married, buying a house, and having kids. But I'm not ready for that yet. I need to go out and do this. I can't explain to you precisely why, but I do. I need to go and find myself before I can make that sort of commitment. I want to be able to stay here with you and spend the rest of my life with you, eventually. I guess I'm just not ready to settle down yet. I want to go and see the world. I'm sorry."

At this point, we were both in tears. It was obvious I didn't want her to leave and she was going to leave even if it killed me. Our conversation had come full circle. She was leaving. That was all there was too it.

"Fine, leave me Lorelai. I'll get by. I hope you have fun," I yelled as I slammed down the receiver. Infuriated and feeling betrayed, I crawled down the hall into my room and surrounded myself in the comfort of blankets. I clicked on the radio to my favorite radio station and "One More Day" started to blare. With every line of the song the volume of my tears doubled. I still couldn't believe it was true. Everything was going so well; there was no way she was going to be leaving now. But she was. She was leaving tomorrow morning. I didn't even know if I would ever see her again. How was I going to adjust from seeing her every day for hours at a time to never seeing her or even talking to her?

Her last night in this town and I'm spending it here, wishing she wasn't leaving. I should be out with her, spending our last night together, enjoying every last bit I can of her. I shouldn't be upset with her. This is something that she has to do. Sure, she was leaving me behind, but she needs to find himself. Maybe she'll come back to me and we'll pick up where we left off. Maybe things will be better than they ever were. Deciding I was going to wait for her until she came back, I curled up in my blankets and cried myself to sleep.


End file.
